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Send in the Clowns
Chapter FOUR
The old woman in the tattered crimson dress and black veil, walked down the dusty road toward town. The dust cloud in the
distance told her that a car was coming down the road. As it whizzed by she could see there were two clowns sitting inside
of the colorful little car that was heading for the unwelcoming town of Ashbrooke. Most people would have smiled at the sight
of two clowns, in a clown car on their way into town, but not this particular woman.
“It’s started again…” The old woman mumbled under her breath. She stepped off the gravel road and
headed towards the forest.
The sun was high in the sky causing a glare through the dusty windshield of Smiley’s clown car. Most of the trucks were
either still being unloaded or in need of a wash and Smiley wanted the circus to be cast in a positive light if he was going
to go into town. The tiny multi-colored smart car he drove was gimmicked with two steering wheels so if there were two clowns
in the car you really couldn’t tell for sure which one was driving. It was a great gag and certainly turned a lot of
heads when Smiley and his little pal Buggy were driving it through the small towns they stopped in. Buggy was a bit of a prankster
and loved to mess with the general public when he was out and about in “face”. In the last town they had been
in, he got a big laugh with a group of college kids when they stopped at a traffic light in their clown car right next to
some yuppie business man in his beamer. Smiley looked over and saw that the guy was deep in conversation on his cell phone,
so he smiled at Buggy and gave the signal, so Buggy dug around in the props bag and pulled out an oversized rubber banana
and held it to his ear as if he were talking into it. To the college kids standing at a bus stop, the sight was hilarious.
There was a way to self important yuppie gabbing on his phone and just next to him was a clown car with a small and large
version of what looked like the same clown and the smaller of the two was gabbing into his banana mocking the yuppie. Smiley
and Buggy were true believers in the clown mantra which was to ‘Comfort the uncomfortable and make the comfortable uncomfortable”.
And seeing a circus clown mocking him on his cell phone truly made the yuppie uncomfortable, so embarrassed by the laughing
youngsters that he shot the clown the finger and sped away as the light turned green. It made Smiley and Buggy’s day
because at least the kids got a good laugh.
This day would be a bit different because this was truly a one horse town. It had one stop light, one theater and one diner,
a ghost town if Smiley had ever seen one and he wasn’t really looking forward to rolling up into it.
“So what’s up with old Pong? How is it that his daughter is doing the nasty with Carson and he doesn’t know
it? Is he or isn’t he a psychic?” Buggy broke the silence in the colorful little car.
“Well I don’t know, but I’m guessing he doesn’t know, cause if he did, I’m sure he would have
put some ancient Chinese voo doo on Carson’s ass by now. It’s no secret that Master Pong can’t stand him.”
Smiley pulled a cigar out of his pocket and stuck it in his mouth. “I mean hell, who does like Carson? He’s such
a pain in the ass.” Smiley spoke out of the corner of his mouth as he fumbled around for a light. Buggy was Smiley’s
best friend and he always seemed to be prepared for Smiley’s cigars. As always he pulled his special lighter out of
his pocket and shot a six inch flame into the air lighting a bit too much of the cigar.
“Aww women… they are so like balloon animals, they usually look good on the outside but on the inside all they
are is a lot of hot air.”
“Yeah, and they usually end up exploding on ya and disappearing.” Smiley and Buggy laughed.
********
“So then the bitch said she was going to report me to my boss just because I accidentally delivered ten cases of BBQ
chicken wings instead of the ones with the buffalo sauce.” Mac was talking loud over the sound of the shower so Devin
could hear him. They had just finished their afternoon tryst and she was rushing to get down stairs and help Steffi with the
early dinner rush. “Hey I am coming back through here from Cedar Creek later tonight. I have my last delivery there.
How’s about I come back by for seconds?” Mac was pulling his tighty whities up over his dangling manhood and rushing
to get his pants on.
“That sounds great… I’d love to go another round with you hot stuff.” Devin was a very modern single
woman who had taken over the diner her parents started back in the late 80’s. They had retired and moved to Florida
and left her to manage the place on her own. “I especially love the little discount you give me on every delivery.”
Mac peeped through the shower curtain at her. “That little secret is between you and me.”
Devin pecked him on the lips and shoed him out of the bathroom.
********
“Where in tarnation is Devin?” Sheriff Tucker slammed placed his empty coffee mug on the counter a little harder
than necessary.
“Um she’s sorting out some details with the delivery guy.” Steffi glanced up at the ceiling where Devin’s
apartment was on the upper floor. She knew darn well exactly what Devin was doing with the delivery boy but that was for her
to know and nobody else to find out.
“Well maybe someone should tell her that she has some customers waiting down here for her.” Sheriff Tucker was
one of the most ill tempered assholes around. He was known for being impatient, ill-mannered, and irreverent and an all around
racist son of a bitch. The town’s folk had a nickname for him behind his back. They called him Sheriff Tucker the Mother
Fucker. Even his deputy the very lovely Tarra Wood snickered when she heard someone call him that behind his back.
“Hello all you beautiful people!” Randy had just walked through the opened door that was being held by Tarra Wood.
“Well not all are beautiful… but oh well”. Randy shot a glance at the sheriff and rolled his eyes. Randy
and Tarra had both walked up to the diner at the same time and seeing Randy coming up to the door Tarra had smiled and said
“ladies first” and held it for Randy. The simple fact that Randy was the biggest and most flamboyant gay drama
queen in the town was well known by all.
“Where I come from a man opens the door for a lady… but in your case I’m not sure if you’re a man
or not, so we’ll cut you some slack.” The sheriff took a jibe at Randy as he always did when he got a chance.
“Oh I’m a man alright….” Randy ran his finger up the sheriff’s sleeve in a very flirtatious
and seductive way, to get him all riled up. “And I know a man when I… taste one.”
The sheriff pulled his arm away in disgust and snarled. “You ever touch me like that again you little faggot and you’ll
be sorry.”
“Oh sorry Sheriff…. I certainly wouldn’t want you to use those sexy hand cuffs on me.”
Randy blew the sheriff a kiss and walked over to the counter where Steffi was standing. Just moments after the Sheriff and
Tarra sat in their booth to talk shop, Devin came in tying an apron around her waist.
“Sorry I’m late,” She said to Steffi as she smiled. She knew very well that Steffi was in on her little
secret. “I was busy taking a delivery.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen that delivery boy… and I know I’d certainly be happy to take his delivery.”
Randy leaned in to Devin and Steffi, “I may not have a front door, but he can deliver in my back door any time he wants.”
Steffi and Devin both giggled uncomfortably. They weren’t sure if they should laugh at such a blatantly disgusting joke,
but they loved that Randy was so open and honest about his sexuality no matter what anyone thought.
The air in the Diner was thick with the sheriff’s cigarette smoke. Being a chain smoker he left a cloud behind him everywhere
he went and nobody had the guts to ask him to put it out. He and Tarra were sitting in their normal booth and the discussion
was heated.
“I don’t give a flying fuck if those circus freaks have all the proper paperwork. I want them out of this town
ASAP.” The sheriff’s veins were bulging on his neck as he spoke. He was not a fan of the circus and he didn’t
want it and its riff raff in his town.
“Bob, we can’t just kick them out of town. They have gone through all the proper steps to get a license and rather
we like it or not unless they do something wrong they can stay for up to two weeks if they like. It’s all here in the
paperwork.” Tarra laid a stack of papers in front of the sheriff.
“It’s all bullshit.” Tucker grumbled. “I want you to go out there and check up on them daily. If they
have so much as one infraction against them I want them out. I mean as much as a can of gasoline too close to an open flame
or even a cigarette but on the ground. Hell if they drop one god dam piece of litter I want you to kick their carnie asses
out of my town.”
“Ok, I’ll go later this evening and check it out, but Bob I think you’re being way too hard on them. Hell
I used to love the circus when I was a kid and I don’t see any harm in it being here.” Tarra grabbed the stack
of papers and got up to walk out.
“Well it’s a good thing I’m the sheriff and you’re just a cute piece of ass in a uniform.” Bob
gave her a sarcastic smile and took a sip of his fresh cup of coffee.
********
What Brian was feeling was a cross between depression and embarrassment over what had happened with Steffi the night before.
His friendship with her was important but he knew deep down inside he was dealing with something bigger than some silly date
gone wrong. Promising his Gran to go to church with her had been partly out of his sense of duty and partly because he was
finding himself enjoying the new young pastor Frederick’s sermons because they were encouraging and uplifting, but something
deep down inside of him wondered if that was all. Was that the only reason he found himself drawn to the handsome young man?
Brian knew he was nothing like Randy. He had no desire to wear hip-hugger jeans and die his hair three different colors and
flutter around town making a spectacle of himself just because he could, but at the same time there was something deep down
inside that made him able to really identify with Randy; almost like they were two aliens from the same planet. The feeling
was comforting yet disturbing to him at the same time.
“Son you have got to get these carburetors finished today. Ole Mr. Baily is going to be picking them up in an hour.”
Bill Johnson, Brian’s boss and the younger brother who owned the Johnson’s Bro’s garage, had a knack for
sneaking up on people without meaning to and scaring the hell out of them. “I know your daydreaming about girls, or
whatever, but just make sure you get this done.” Bill smiled and patted Brian on the back. Unlike his brother Pete,
who was a bit rough around the edges and could be down right rude, crude and socially unacceptable, Bill had a very gentle
way about him. He got along with Brian wonderfully and seemed to always have a kind word of encouragement just when the boy
needed it.
“Thanks Bill, I’m sorry but things have been a bit weird lately.” Brian wiped the grease from his hands
and frowned.
“You having girl problems pal?” Bill smiled as if he could read Brian’s mind.
“Um yeah that’s sort of it…. Girl problems…” Brian looked away so Bill couldn’t see him
roll his eyes.
“Well sometimes we can’t fix a problem because we haven’t really identified what’s wrong. Maybe you’re
trying to fix something that doesn’t need fixing.” Bill winked at Brian and turned to walk away. Suddenly a small
car came to a speeding halt in the gravel drive just in front of the garage office door. It was a strange little multi-colored
smart car with tinted windows and a big white plastic Mickey Mouse looking hand stuck on the end of the antenna that sprang
back and forth as if it was waving hello.
“What in the name of my grannies sweet cherry pie is that?” Bill’s unlit cigarette dropped from his mouth
and landed on the counter.
Suddenly the door to the car opened and out came a pair of huge red and blue leather shoes. They looked to be about a size
27 and they had a bulbous toe with wing-tipped ends. As if performing some twisted circus act, a heavyset clown about 6 feet
tall when completely erect, squeezed out of the drivers side of the car. He was wearing a tiny blue derby with bright orange
hair flanking either side of his bald head. His nose was bright red and very shiny, sitting just above a brightly painted
smile that made the clowns entire face light up. He was wearing an over sized red kangaroo coat with at least a dozen blue
pockets on it and blue and red plaid pants with bright yellow suspenders. The cuffs of his pants were wide and yellow and
they draped neatly around his bright blue and red shoes.
“Well Woopti-Goldi-Damdi-Doo!” Bill Johnson exclaimed as he smiled and turned to look at Brian, who was grinning
ear to ear. Being an aspiring juggler, Brian loved clowns. Then just when they both thought nothing else could surprise them
the passenger’s door opened and out cam an exact duplicate of the large clown they were looking at. He was exact down
to the smallest detail, except for one very obvious difference. He was half the size of the first clown.
“Well howdy ho,” the taller of the two clowns said. “My name is smiley and this is my pal Buggy and we’re
here in town with the Bizzaro Brother’s Circus.” The clown stuck an already lit cigar in his mouth and grinned
a toothy grin.
“Well I’ll be go to hell.” Bill said as he extended his hand to shake hands with the clown. “I have
to say in all the things I’ve seen in my day this is one sight I don’t think I ever imagined seeing in our sleepy
little town.”
“Yeah,” Brian chimed in, “I’ve never seen a real clown close up before… especially not in this
town… hell we’ve never even had a circus here.”
“Oh my… did you hear that Buggy? Our young friend here has never been to the circus…”
“Well we’re gonna have to bring the circus to him then.” Buggy giggled as Smiley picked him up holding him
close enough to Brian to pull a bright feathery flower out of Brian’s ear, so it appeared anyway. Brian smiled and sniffed
the flower just as it shot a stream of water right in his face. Being a good sport he laughed.
“Oh sorry about my naughty little pal, he loves to do that. For being such a good sport, let me give you one of these…”
Smiley presented his empty glove covered hand, closed it and upon opening it again there was a bright colored ticket for the
Bizzaro Bro’s Circus. “This will get you and a friend into the circus… on the house.”
“Wow thanks dude…” Brian wiped the remnants of the water from his face. “I can’t wait to go.”
So Smiley and Buggy,” Bill interrupted the mirth. “What brings you boys into my little garage. I don’t exactly
sell rubber chickens here.
“Nah,” Buggy started, “we’ve got rubber chickens out the wazoo.”
“What we need,” Smiley continued, “Are about forty sparkplugs for our gas generators, cause without them
our circus won’t have any lights. Smiley took a long draw on his cigar.
“Well I think we can help you with that.” Brian waved the cigar smoke away from his face.
“Well Mr. Smiley,” Bill added. “We won’t have that many plugs till this afternoon’s shipment
comes in, but I’ll have Brian here run them out to your circus. I’m guessing you fellows are set up somewhere
outside of town?”
“Yeah that big field on the edge of the woods, out about five miles West of town.” Buggy said as he fiddled with
some multi-colored bungee cords that were hanging on a rack by the door.
Brian and Bill looked at each other. Bill cocked a disapproving eyebrow. Just the mention of Saunders field was practically
taboo in the little town and the thought of another circus being set up there was just too ironic.
*******
Carson knew everyone hated him and he didn’t give a dam but it was still nice to get away and take a little stroll.
The big top was set up and the rest of the tents were not far behind. Most of his work was done and he could finally stop
barking orders at the brainless roustabouts that did the actual grunt work. The field that circus had set up in was very
large and it was bordered on three sides by a thick forest that ran around the perimeter. The thin dirt road into town was
the forth border of the field and it was really the only way in and out without having to navigate the thick wooded terrain.
Carson could hear the music starting up. When the calliope started up he knew it meant the performers were starting to practice
their routines. He really hated the circus but it beat the hell out of Ozland penitentiary where he has spent ten of his forty
years. He was in for a bad drug rap and domestic violence but he had left all that behind him and was using this job with
the circus to try to get his head on straight. This was his third season with the circus and he kept promising himself that
each one was going to be his last, but the money he always planned to pigeon-hole away, so he could move on to do something
else, always seemed to slip through his fingers.
There was a rumor that had spread around the fairway like wild fire the first season Carson started. The word was that he
had been beaten within an inch of his life while in prison because he had sassed the wrong biker, or hadn’t bent over
for one of those big horny Jamaican’s on his cell block. It was supposedly due to this that he had a withered left arm
and had to walk with a cane. Carson was more than happy to let the circus folk believe this rumor because the truth was too
much for him to think about. Reality was that he had become so depressed due to the fact that his wife had left him while
in prison, that he tried to end it all by jumping off a building that just simply wasn’t tall enough to do the job right,
so he ended up crippled for life.
The thick forest was inviting to Carson. It was a nice relaxing change from the long road and nature always had a way of making
him feel more at ease. The way the breeze blew gently through the leaves made a sound that almost reminded him of rain falling
on the roof of his house back home. He didn’t dare go far into the forest as it would only take one fallen branch to
make him trip and fall and the last thing he needed before the show began, was to fuck up his back or even worse screw up
the pin in his leg. He walked along the edge of the thick forest when he saw something unusual. It was what looked to be an
old cabin covered with fines and moss. He fumbled his way closer and realized what it was. It was an old wooden circus wagon.
Just like the ones he had seen in books when he was a kid.
He pulled the vines away and uncovered the end of the wagon with the door. It was faded and the wood was rotten but he could
see that it had once been a beautiful colorful wagon that was very ornate in its design. He grabbed a hold of another hand-full
of vines and ripped them away from the side of the wagon revealing the faded words that were stenciled on the wood in faded
yellow and red lettering. “The Fink and Zimner Freak Show and Circus”. As he examined it closer he could see that
the windows were boarded up with wooden doors that locked from the inside. Only small bits of rotten curtain could be seen
sticking through a crack here and there. The wheels were flat and broken and the door at the end that had a small wooden set
of stairs leading up to it was boarded over and there was a faded sign that read “Keep Out… This Place is Cursed
by God”.
“What a crock of shit!” Carson said to himself as he ripped the rotten board off the door and threw it aside in
the weeds. “Cursed by God my ass… like there even is a god!” Carson turned the ancient knob that he was
surprised even worked and slowly pushed the creaky door opened. The sunlight was shining through cracks in the wood making
enough light for him to see the interior of the wagon. It was like he had opened a time capsule. Besides being coved with
a layer of dust, it looked as if everything in the wagon had gone untouched by human hands for decades. Being as Carson would
sell his own grandma for a buck, his eyes widened when he saw an old 1916 Victor Victrola as well as a couple of dust covered
tiffany lamps not to mention a myriad of other treasures that had been preserved in the dusty old wagon.
********
“So you’re a juggler huh? Wow your technique is pretty good.” Smiley and Buggy had spent a few minutes entertaining
Brian in the garage so Brian pulled out his balls and showed them what he could do. He did every trick in the book and actually
impressed the two seasoned circus clowns with his technique.
“Bill and Pete just gave me a brand new pair of juggling knives that I can’t wait to try out.” Brian motioned
toward the desk drawer.
“That’s great kid… when you come out to the circus make sure you come early and we can spend some time tossing
pins around. I’ve got a few tricks I can show you, but for now Buggy and I need to get back to the circus.”
“Yeah old ‘he who must be obeyed’ is going to wonder where the hell we disappeared to.” Buggy reached
up and lit the fresh cigar Smiley had just placed in his mouth and the two of them tipped their little derbies in unison,
walked out to their little clown car and sped away.
“Now that’s not something you see every day.” Bill and Brian laughed.
********
“Well I’ll tell you what,” Donya was bitching and complaining like always. “If Carson doesn’t
fork over some money soon I’m taking my target practicing ass out of here and getting a real job.” She and Savini
the knife thrower had not been paid yet and it was three weeks over due. This was pretty much the same story for most of the
performers. The only ones that saw any cash were the ones who were into the vending part of the circus business. If they had
their own vending stall they controlled their own cash flow but the ones who were performers and depended on the ticket sales,
had to wait till it was all divvied up so the wealth could be spread accordingly. The circus had been slow and the word on
the fairway was that Carson was lining his pockets with the cream he was skimming off the top and then wining that there just
weren’t enough sales. There was no proof of this but sometimes perception is stronger than truth.
Master Pong and his daughter Pei Chee had been with the circus for only a year. Pei Chee was a beautiful Chinese girl with
long black braids that hung down to her waste on either side of her head. She was one of the circus’s premier acrobats.
It was in the short time she had been with the circus that she had gotten a bit cozy with Carson. Not because she liked him
but because it served both their interests. Her and her blind father got special privileges and Carson got his knob polished
once in a while, which would never have happened otherwise. In the years he had been with the circus there hadn’t been
one self respecting female performer that would give him the time of day much less roll in the hay with him. Due to his injuries
and partial paralysis his “flag pole” could only stand at half mast, but Pei Chee didn’t care. As a matter
of fact it worked out to her advantage because she really didn’t want to fuck him. She was completely content servicing
him in other ways that didn’t include any games of “hide the salami”.
“Father, don’t bother Carson with your silliness. He’s too busy to care about that stuff.” Pei Chee
was sitting on a bail of hay with her father. They had been listening to the circus orchestra practice when he brought up
a concern he had. It seems when they had rolled into the field to set up Master Pong had a very disturbing vision. Something
that led him to believe the entire circus was in grave danger but like always nobody, not even his own daughter would take
him seriously.
“Pei Chee I know you don’t believe in my spirit sight but I am telling you this is real. If we don’t leave
this place now something horrible is going to happen.” Pei Chee loved her father but he could be a bit on the wacky
side. I mean with his white eyes that were completely blind, his long white hair and mustache, he looked like something right
out of the television show Kung Fu. The kind of guy you would expect to call you grasshopper.
“The vision that I had suggested certain death for all of us, I know you don’t believe me Pei Chee, but I know
it was fate telling us to leave this unholy place.” Just as Master Pong finished the sentence, Carson came hobbling
up with a boyish grin on his face.
“Hey Pei Chee, you have to come with me and see this. I have found something wonderful.” He took her by the arm
and began to help her to her feet. She hesitated as her father grabbed her to stop her.
“You mustn’t go.” Carson pulled her hard and her arm slipped from Master Pong’s grip. “Carson
we must leave this place. I had a vision… a warning that this place is unholy and if we stay her we will surely find
death and pain.”
“Look Pong.” Carson growled. “You’re ruining the mood here. I wanted to show Pei Chee something wonderful
and now you’re being a stick in the mud with your mind reader mumbo jumbo bullshit.”
“Father I’ll be right back.” she tried to calm the scene a bit. “Just let me go see what Carson wants
to show me and we’ll talk about your vision when I get back.” Pei Chee was a bit concerned because she could see
how her father was disturbed by his vision. He got a bit weird once in a while with his visions and trances but this was something
more intense than she had ever seen coming from him and that scared her a bit.
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